


never believe it's not so

by lestered (lgbtrobed)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dragons, Getting Together, Growing Up Together, M/M, Magical Realism, Original Mythology, Shapeshifting, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26109265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtrobed/pseuds/lestered
Summary: Dan, in his ten short years, has pretty much classed himself as a skeptic. The Creatures sound just about as real to him as any dumb old urban legend or cryptid. But it’s pretty hard not to believe in a certain type of magic when he’s watching Phil’s dad literally light a candle in the center of the table by carefully blowing a tiny flame onto the wick.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	never believe it's not so

Dan finds out at the same time that Phil does, which is unusual, but it’s only because Phil’s an early bloomer. 

Phil is also delicate and allergic to everything, which is why when he’s all groggy that day in the field, complaining of an itchy nose and a burning feeling in his throat, Dan just figures that he’s breathed in too much pollen for the day and they ought to head home soon. 

Because that’s a reasonable explanation. It’s much more reasonable than what actually happens when they’re about to enter the woods that separate the field from Phil’s backyard, when Phil grabs the back of Dan’s shirt. 

Dan turns to see him looking panic stricken.

“Phil, come _on,”_ he sighs. “Your mum will give you some medicine when we get back.” 

But Phil shakes his head. 

“No, Dan,” he says quietly. Some beads of sweat are gathering around his temples, Dan notices, but that’s not unusual either. It’s nearly summer and they’ve been out in the sun for hours. “I think something’s really wrong. _Really_ wrong.”

Dan examines him for a second, frowning and taking a quick step backwards. “Ew, don’t sick all over me. Turn around and do it or something, I don’t wanna watch.”

“I’m not gonna be sick,” Phil says with a hurried shake of his head. His tone is bordering on frantic, which makes him start to feel worried. This is dramatic even for Phil. He watches him glance around, as if he’s searching for something that’ll help, though Dan’s not sure what. Phil doesn’t seem to know either, and his face is only getting redder. 

_Heat stroke, maybe?_ He wonders, feeling more anxious as Phil looks around helplessly, his breaths starting to come in quicker. 

Then a breath catches in his throat, and Dan steps back again on instinct.

It’s a really good thing he does.

Phil’s eyes squeeze shut and he lets out what sounds like something between a cough and a massive sneeze. Then Dan doesn’t see exactly what happens, because his line of vision is blocked by a huge ball of fire exploding seemingly out of Phil’s mouth and knocking both of them off their feet. Dan falls out of shock and fear, but he’s pretty sure Phil is propelled down through the sheer force of _whatever_ that was. All he knows is that when the thick cloud of smoke in between them clears, they’re both on the ground, dazed and confused with their arms and legs splayed out.

And then Phil starts to cry.

-

Kathryn doesn’t send him home after he frantically attempts an explanation as to what the hell he just saw. That’s after he manages to coax Phil back through the woods and into his house, maintaining as big of a distance as he can while also making sure that Phil doesn’t dissolve into a full blown nervous wreck. 

Instead, she guides both of them over to the kitchen table and supplies them each with a tall glass of ice water. Dan sips idly at his while Phil guzzles the entire thing, then slams his glass back down on the table and gasps loudly for breath.

Dan thinks he should be scared. But Kath is sitting opposite them at the table, acting as though nothing unusual is happening. She just picks up Phil’s water glass and goes to refill it, bending down to press a kiss to the top of his head when she sets it back down. She smooths her hand over Dan’s hair too, the way she does, before sitting again and drawing in a deep breath. 

“Okay,” she says lightly, seeming to think something over for a moment before nodding to herself and looking directly at her son. “Phil, darling, there’s something you need to know. I wasn’t expecting to have to say anything for a couple more years, but… I was wrong, I suppose. And Daniel,” she turns her gaze over to him and he knows to listen carefully. Much like his own mum, Kath doesn’t often call him by his full name unless it’s serious. “You should hear it too. But before I start talking you have to promise, not a word of this to anyone. Not a single other soul. Okay?”

Dan nods, if only because he doesn’t think there’s anything else he can do. 

-

Everyone knows about the Creatures.

Dan’s grandma has told him stories about them for as long as he can remember. Ancient species of monsters and beasts who’ve inhabited the earth since the beginning of time, evolved to disguise themselves, to live among humans. Powerful and enchanted, they flit between the human dimension and their secret magical realms with ease. _Be wary, yet reverent,_ she would tell him. _They’re a part of something much bigger than we’re capable of understanding._

Except that Dan, in his ten short years, has pretty much classed himself as a skeptic. The Creatures sound just about as real to him as any dumb old urban legend or cryptid. But it’s pretty hard not to believe in a certain type of magic when he’s watching Phil’s dad literally light a candle in the center of the table by carefully blowing a tiny flame onto the wick. 

“I can’t believe Phil started shifting before me,” Martyn grumbles, spearing a meatball with his fork and kicking petulantly at the floor as if it’s the most normal thing to be jealous over. “That’s bullshit. You said we wouldn’t start til we were thirteen, at least.”

“Language,” Kath throws a stern glance in his direction. “Some get lucky and develop earlier. Your shift will come in time. You should be happy for your brother.”

 _Someone ought to be,_ Dan thinks, because Phil doesn’t seem happy for himself. He just looks shell-shocked, staring emptily down at the plate of spaghetti that he hasn’t touched. 

“And he hasn’t actually shifted,” Nigel reminds them. “A bit of accidental fire-breathing is nothing to pout over, Mar.”

Dan pinches his own thigh underneath the table, just to make sure this isn’t the dream that he really, really feels like it should be.

It hurts. He’s awake. 

-

Phil starts bringing things to him about a year later. Dan doesn’t really want to call them gifts, because Phil seems just as confused as him when they stare at the contents of what he’s just emptied into the palm of Dan’s hand - a broken necklace, a mood ring, a couple mismatched earrings, and a chocolate gold coin.

“What are you, a crow?” Dan asks. “What are you giving me this for? Where’d you even get it?”

“The jewelry was in the lost and found,” Phil answers quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “And I saw the coin fall out of someone’s backpack. I don’t know.” He looks up at Dan again. “I don’t know, I saw them and I couldn’t not pick them up. It’s like I _needed_ to. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with them now.”

Dan glances around quickly when he sees Phil’s eyes do that familiar involutary shift. A blink, and his pupils are vertical slits in a sea of emerald green. Another quick blink and they’re back to normal, blown wide and centered in crystally blue irises. He lets out a breath of relief when he sees that they are, in fact, alone in the school hallway, and slips the items into his jacket pocket.

 _Hoarding,_ Kath tells them eventually, after about two weeks of Phil presenting him with various random, shiny, usually gold-coloured objects. It’s just another dragon instinct, she confirms, that Phil will learn to control over time. 

“He’s been giving these things to you?” Kath asks him when Phil goes to take the bins out after dinner, leaving the two of them alone for a minute. “Not keeping them for himself?”

Dan nods, then furrows his eyebrows. “Is he not supposed to give them to me?” He asks. The thought hadn’t occurred to him. He and Phil have shared everything, always.

“No, no,” she shakes her head. “Nothing like that. It’s a bit, um… unconventional, but not unheard of. And, you know.” She chuckles a bit, though the sound isn’t exactly reassuring, “When has Phil ever been conventional, right?”

 _Unconventional,_ Dan thinks on his walk home that evening. _That’s one way to think of it._

-

Phil doesn’t get the hang of fully shifting for another few years. It’s just a couple days after his fourteenth birthday, actually, that he tugs Dan all the way out to the field behind the woods after school. He refuses to answer any of the questions that Dan asks - or rather, gasps - as he attempts to match Phil’s pace so as to avoid being literally dragged along by him.

“You’ll see,” Phil insists, not bothering to slow down or even look back at him. “You’ll see, you’ll see, come on!”

Phil’s clutching his hand so tight that he doesn’t really have a choice.

He stumbles forward a couple steps when they reach the edge of the woods and Phil abruptly lets go of his hand.

“Christ, Phil,” he shakes his hand out a couple times to alleviate some of the soreness in his wrist, “Whatever you have to show me, couldn’t you have just- hey, what the fuck are you doing?”

His voice comes out a little higher than intended, but that’s because when he looks up, Phil’s already kicked off his shoes, shed his school blazer and tie and is in the process of unbuttoning his shirt.

Phil blinks at him in confusion a couple times before his cheeks turn pink and he laughs when he realizes what he must look like. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he takes a break from undressing to hold up his hands, “this isn’t what it looks like. Um, turn around for a minute? I’ll let you know when you can look.”

Dan stays wide-eyed and frozen for a moment, because he can’t think of any possible thing Phil would want to surprise him with that involves him stripping in the middle of a field. Plus, he definitely doesn’t want to see Phil naked, Phil’s a _guy._ And Dan’s constantly reminding himself as of late that has no interest in naked guys. So he guesses he just has to trust that Phil’s plans don’t involve indecent exposure. 

He blows out a breath and turns around.

He hears Phil shuffle around for a minute or so, then clear his throat and speak up. 

“Alright, uh… count to five and then you can turn around, okay? Or, actually, ten. Count to ten.”

Dan’s about to agree despite still having no clue what’s happening, but Phil interrupts him before he can. 

“No, actually, fifteen. Just to be safe.”

“Fuck’s sake, Phil,” he groans, because this is only getting more cryptic by the second. “Alright, I’ll count to fifteen. Go on, then.”

“Okay,” he hears Phil mumble. “Okay, okay.”

Then he starts to count. _One, two, three._

Phil’s mumbling to himself, though Dan can’t make out what he’s saying anymore.

_Four, five, six, seven._

There’s some more shuffling around, and then a few loud, deep breaths.

_Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve…_

It’s on twelve that he hears a soft swooshing noise, which grows bigger and louder until the trees surrounding the field rumble and sway and he’s nearly knocked off his feet by whatever gale force wind-type shit that was.

And then it settles down just as quickly as it had built up. He hears a quiet thud, and he’s pretty sure he’s not imagining things when he feels the ground shake just a tiny bit beneath his feet.

What follows are the longest three seconds of his entire life.

 _Thirteen,_ he counts in between deep breaths, _fourteen, fifteen._

And then he turns around.

He’s running before he can fully even register what’s happening. 

Not running away, like any normal person probably would, but straight forward, right towards the center of the field until he throws himself right up against a giant mass of shiny, blue and green scales. 

“Holy shit, Phil!” He keeps his voice down as best he can, but it’s pretty fucking difficult when he’s trying to climb onto the back of the literal 35 foot dragon that is his best friend.

It doesn’t really work because, well, it seems dragon scales don’t have a lot of traction.

So he stumbles backward a bit instead, just doing his best to catch his breath as he drinks in the sight of what’s in front of him.

Oddly, in all the time he’s known about the Lesters being dragon shifters, he’d never really imagined that he would someday see Phil shift from a lanky, awkward human to an epically massive reptile beast. It’s completely unreal, he thinks as he runs up and down the length of Phil’s body, examining the spikes on his tail and his strange reptilian feet and the horns curling back from each side of his head in huge, fantastic spirals. His heart is racing by the time he gets all the way up to Phil’s snout, and he laughs, completely giddy and breathless at the sight of Phil resting his head down on top of his two front feet like some kind of gigantic lizard-puppy.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he whispers, shuddering a little at the big, warm puff of breath that gusts over him when he rests his hand on the tip of Phil’s nose and looks up into the only familiar thing about the creature in front of him - those big, green dragon eyes. They blink down at him slowly, shining bright with what Dan imagines is excitement, and probably pride.

There’s a slight rustle as Phil carefully unfolds his wings and, with a small _whoosh,_ lowers them close enough to the ground that Dan could hop onto them if he wanted to.

“You sure?” He asks, and Phil’s wings just flutter the tiniest bit in what looks like a _yes_. So he does just that, hauling himself up onto one of them and holding still on his hands and knees while Phil slowly, delicately, folds his wings in again, allowing Dan to hop off onto his back before they retract fully.

“I can’t. Fucking. _Believe_ this,” he repeats, sitting cross-legged on the wide expanse of Phil’s back. He glances around in awe while Phil’s slow breaths make him go up and down, up and down. 

And even though Phil’s horizontal height isn’t that significant, Dan feels like he’s on top of the world.

-

Phil’s family couldn’t be more thrilled, not that Dan expected anything less. 

“It’s a huge deal,” Kath explains when he asks around all the excitement that greets them when they come back from the field that evening. “Mastering the final form is a rite of passage for us. Anyhow,” she lets up a bit on the bone-crushing embrace she’s got Phil in, just enough that she can kiss his cheek and ruffle his hair before fully letting him go. “I’m just so proud of you, love.”

Nigel is even happier, if that’s possible, and Dan’s chest warms seeing Phil’s eyes light up and shine when his father hugs him and tells him how proud he is. Even Martyn offers a hug and a high-five as well before Kath and Nigel shoo them off to the living room so that they can properly celebrate. 

Obviously, it’s a family affair. Dan’s about ready to ask if he ought to go home when Nigel passes him a wine glass. His uncertainty must be showing, because he gets a fake stern look as his glass is filled up generously. “Don’t even think about it, Dan. You know you’re more than welcome.”

That’s enough to make him shut up and settle down on the loveseat where Phil’s already sat. 

“Phil showed you before he even showed any of us,” Martyn adds after easily downing about half of his glass. “Pretty sure that means you deserve to be here.”

Celebrating with the Lesters is more or less their typical family movie night, but with Phil picking the movie and some nice red wine. Phil chooses _Speed,_ because of course he does, and Kath allows them each two more glasses.

“Only because it’s not a school night,” she reminds them when she gives them their last pour. “And because it’s a special occasion.”

It feels special. It really does. Especially when Nigel dims the lights in the living room, when Kath tosses over a blanket for them to share, and when two-and-a-half glasses of wine in, Phil sinks further down into the couch cushions and lets his head fall tiredly onto Dan’s shoulder.

He doesn’t think much of it until he sees Kath giving them what he’s deemed The Look.

Kath has been occasionally giving them The Look for a couple years, starting right around the time Phil had begun hoarding things for Dan. _Unconventional,_ she’d said, but not unheard of. So he’s not sure why she looks at them like that, curious and apprehensive and knowing, almost. That’s the unsettling part, the thought that she might know something about Phil that Dan doesn’t. That maybe Phil doesn’t even know about himself. 

When Dan catches her, she looks away.

“Bedtime,” Phil mumbles, his face turned into Dan’s shoulder while the credits roll. “You’re staying, right?”

“Right,” he says instinctively, before remembering that it’s not actually his choice. He looks across the room at Kath and Nigel, who smile in amusement and nod, and then he’s dragging Phil up off the loveseat and letting him cling while he attempts to shuffle over to the stairs. 

“It won’t be like this every time,” Kath says with a fond chuckle as she’s cleaning up their glasses and popcorn bowls. “Shifting takes up a lot of energy at first, but once he gets used to it he won’t need you to be carrying him to bed.”

That’s good to know, he supposes, but it’s not so bad. Phil’s bed piled with pillows and duvets and blankets, a true testament to his nesting instinct, is Dan’s favourite place to fall asleep. And if getting there involves a bit of heavy lifting, that’s alright.

Phil lays on top of him even though it’s a double bed with plenty of other ways to stay warm, because, _you’re warmer, Dan,_ he recalls from the first time that Phil had climbed on top of him to sleep. He’d explained it with an exaggerated pout. _“I’m cold blooded.”_

He falls asleep to it easily now.

-

Two years later, the Lesters go away for Christmas. 

“To the mountains,” Phil explains regretfully. “I don’t know where, but there’s like, caves and stuff. It’s a dragon place.”

“No, I get it,” Dan laughs to shake off the disappointment. “Not exactly Florida, is it?”

His stomach churns at the idea of spending Christmas with his own family, alone, but he can’t expect to be included in all of Phil’s family trips and holidays. Besides, his family isn’t that shit. He’ll manage.

He does, just barely. He spends most of the holiday hovering near his two safest bets for tolerable company - his dog and his grandma - and inhaling sweets and holing up in his room at every available chance.

He goes to sleep on Christmas night thinking of misty mountains and dark caves, wisps of smoke and fire and blue-green scales.

And when he wakes up on New Year’s Day to a text from Phil, he doesn’t even change out of his pajamas, just throws on his coat and shoes and rushes over to his house as fast as he can.

-

The Lesters’ house is warm in a way that Dan’s never is. 

Not only because they have a functioning fireplace, but because they love each other. It’s a type of fondness and affection and comfort that Dan doesn’t see very often. Not in his own family, but also not in many others’, either.

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve to be a part of it. Pure luck that he attached himself to Phil at a very young age, maybe. Either way, Kath hugs him when he walks through the door and doesn’t even have a chance to offer him any cakes before Phil’s barreling down the stairs, all but knocking Dan over with the force of his embrace. He feels tears spring up at the corners of his eyes despite himself, but blinks them away as he hugs back. Phil mumbles something into his shoulder that sounds like _I missed you,_ and then he’s being tugged up the stairs.

“I got you something,” Phil says before Dan can even ask anything about the trip. _Trip,_ he thinks, _is that even the right thing to call it? Vacation? Journey? Magical time in Dragonland?_

He slides into Phil’s bed, letting himself sink into the familiar comfort as Phil slides in beside him. He doesn’t lay on top of Dan this time, though. He sits beside him, clutching a poorly-wrapped present in his hands. Well, it’s either poorly wrapped, or an irregularly shaped object. He realizes when Phil hands it over and he feels it in his hands, that it actually might be the latter.

“Fuck, that’s heavy,” he sits cross-legged next to Phil, resting the package down on his lap. “Did you get me a massive rock or something? It’s so-”

He cuts his own sentence short when he tears the wrapping paper away and is left staring down at the shiny, crystally, bluish-purple stone that it reveals. 

“It’s alexandrite,” Phil says quietly, after a few moments of Dan not saying anything, just running his fingertips over the cool, spiky surface. “That was one of the things about the mountains… you can find treasure there. That’s why my parents wanted to go, so Martyn and I could start properly hoarding things.”

All Dan does is clear his throat, because he’s afraid his voice might break if he tries to speak too soon. 

“I thought you’d like it,” Phil says, following a bit more silence. “It’s your birthstone, and it changes colour. Kind of like magic, except... it’s not actually. It’s really hard to find, Mum said I shouldn’t bother looking. But I really wanted to find it for you.”

He only looks up when he feels a warm tear trickle down his cheek, and finally musters the energy to place the rock gently to the side before drawing in a shaky breath. “I love it,” he whispers. “It’s… it’s really beautiful. Phil, why did you-”

The soft press of Phil’s lips is maybe enough to answer the question lingering on his tongue.

-

“How long have you known?” Dan asks later that night.

Phil shifts a little bit from where he’s stretched out on top of him and glances away, looking almost embarrassed. “A few years, I guess. I didn’t actually figure it out, my mum did.”

Dan huffs out a small laugh. “Your mum?”

“When you told her I was giving you the things I hoarded, instead of actually hoarding them,” he explains. 

Dan waits patiently for him to continue. 

Phil sighs when he realizes that Dan isn’t going to let this rest. “It goes against our instincts to share things, unless you’re bound to someone.”

 _Bound._ The word makes his heart race no matter how many times Phil says it. No matter how many times he explains that it’s just a fancy dragon word for a very special type of unrelenting love and devotion. Phil’s bound to him. He likes that.

Phil’s head drops down so his forehead is resting on Dan’s shoulder again. “I guess when she said that, I had this realisation that I didn’t just have some crush on you that I could expect to pass if I kept ignoring it.”

Dan’s quiet for another moment. And then all he can manage is a small, soft, _“fuck.”_

He tilts his head because he knows Phil’s about to kiss him, and he sighs into it when he kisses him back.

“I don’t think I can tell anyone,” he says when they break away.

Phil glances up at him with a glint of amusement in his eyes. “That you’ve got a dragon lover? Yeah, please don’t.”

“It’s less about the fact that you’re a dragon,” Dan says, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and glancing away, “and more about the fact that you’re a dude.”

He’s not sure what he expects as a response, but it’s not Phil’s soft, cool lips pressed to the faded bruise on his shoulder, which is what he gets. He tells himself it’s not a big deal, he’s used to them by now. The socks in the arm and bodychecks in the hallway and slurs yelled at him in passing. He doesn’t think it’s worth it to fight back. Phil still looks at him sadly, though. 

“We’ll get out of here someday,” Phil whispers, his voice dripping with certainty. “I’m gonna make you a place to go where no one can ever hurt you. Promise.”

Sounds a bit too good to be true. But he cups Phil’s face in his hands and kisses him again anyway, hoping.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> [reblogs](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/lestered/627450877100408832) are highly appreciated ❤️
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr!](https://lestered.tumblr.com/ask)


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